


Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul

by heartsdesire456



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Angst, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mentions of Underage, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Supportive Victor Nikiforov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 11:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10161950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: Yuuri didn’t get listless and apathetic like some people Victor knew did when they were feeling down, he gotsadand started to hate himself. Nothing was more painful than watching the most wonderful person to ever live, the closest person to being perfect that had ever existed, doubting his own worth.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the WEIRDEST thing I've written, not in the content, but in the way it was written. 
> 
> Parts of this originated in my original ending for the last fic I posted that I realized while writing was actually totally not what I wanted from that fic, so I cut and pasted it into another document since it was like 1,000 words worth of writing. Then, the scenes in this fic? The ONLY ONE in the place I wrote it in is the final scene. Every other scene I wrote in a different order and decided it didn't fit so I had to move it up or down.
> 
> I have no idea what happened, but I'm actually pleased with the outcome, so enjoy!

Yuuri wasn’t feeling very well lately, and Victor could tell. He watched him skating and falling and trying over and over until he ended up sitting on his knees on the ice crying and it broke his heart into tiny pieces. It wasn’t physical illness, so there was no medicine Victor could give him to help him. Yuuri just got down sometimes and no matter how much Victor wanted to fix him, it wasn’t something he could fix. Victor hated it more than anything, but it was the truth. He could be there for him, he could reassure him, and he could love him, but he couldn’t fix him.

Yuuri didn’t get listless and apathetic like some people Victor knew did when they were feeling down, he got _sad_ and started to hate himself. Nothing was more painful than watching the most wonderful person to ever live, the closest person to being perfect that had ever existed, doubting his own worth. 

Watching Yuuri kneel and cry in frustration after falling again was enough to make Victor decide that enough was enough. If Yuuri couldn’t find faith in his own worth, Victor would make sure everyone else showed him how much he was worth. It may not fix Yuuri, but it would give him a concrete and somewhat less biased source than just Victor to prove to him how special and important he was. 

He just had some planning to do first. 

~

In all his years as a coach, Yakov had seen many skaters suffer from mood swings and fits of roller coaster emotions, but by working with only Russian skaters and their narcissistic tendencies for so long, he had very little experience with skaters who so thoroughly doubted their abilities.

Katsuki was the opposite of most skaters Yakov had trained simply because he _was_ hyper-talented and yet he thought he was worth so little it was astonishing. 

“That spin was great,” he reassured him during one of the sessions where he coached Katsuki while Victor worked with the physiologist. Coaching Katzuki on Victor’s physio days was the only way he got Victor to agree to actually showing up for the physio. Katsuki was managing absolutely perfect spins that didn’t travel the slightest, in some very beautiful positions that most male skaters could never even contort themselves into, and yet every time he finished one, he immediately started apologizing for how poorly he executed it. 

“No,” he dismissed, skating back over to Yakov. “I felt it when I started to lose center-“

Yakov put a hand on his shoulder, silencing him. “I do not hand out praise lightly, ask any of my skaters,” he said firmly. “You traveled maybe three centimeters.”

To his surprise, Katsuki’s eyes were dark and shrouded in guilt as he looked back at him. “It wasn’t good enough, you can be honest,” he said, and before Yakov could argue he went back out to practice the spin again.

Later that day, after Katsuki had left, Yakov approached Victor as he got ready to leave and stopped him. “This will sound crazy coming from me,” he said gruffly, “but I think you must be too harsh on Katsuki,” he said, and Victor tilted his head in confusion. “I thought all this time you went too easy on him since you’re crazy over that man, and I did wonder how you got him to be a winner after Celestino couldn’t, but when a skater impresses me and then _apologizes_ for not being absolutely flawless, there’s something wrong.”

“I don’t understand, Yakov,” Victor said slowly. “I don’t think I’m that strict of a coach. Like you said, he’s the love of my life, so when he looks at me with that pout I cave entirely,” he confessed, and Yakov huffed.

“The boy did some spins so beautiful even Yuratchka may never manage such wonderful positions, and then he apologized for how terrible they were because he traveled _centimeters_ in his spin,” Yakov argued. “You make him expect his coach to be upset with him over that?”

Victor suddenly gave a look of understanding and Yakov raised an eyebrow. “Oooohhh. You mean his perfectionism,” he said, then shook his head. “That’s all Yuuri.” Victor tutted. “I usually distract him when he gets too obsessed on making one thing perfect.” Victor put a finger to his chin. “Although you can’t promise him sex if he tries to work on something else instead,” he mused and Yakov grimaced.

“You’re a very unethical coach, Vitya, I’m just reminding you of that,” Yakov said, trying to erase that last part from his memory altogether. Yakov sighed. “It’s frustrating,” he said suddenly. “Katsuki is the least egotistical skater I’ve ever worked with, but instead he’s not proud of anything he does well. Being a skater, representing his country, it takes _pride_. It’s disappointing to see someone who actually earns that pride to reject it.”

Victor tutted. “Yuuri doesn’t believe in himself. Look at his previous season. He fell apart completely because he came in sixth at the Grand Prix Final, as if being one of the six best skaters in the entire world isn’t a success in its own right. He lost his Nationals horribly and decided to give up skating entirely because he was ranked sixth in the world, Yakov.” Yakov could definitely see his point. While Yakov was used to gold medals after years of coaching Victor Nikiforov, it was definitely still an amazing accomplishment for Katsuki to have made it to the final at all since, as far as he knew, before Victor he only had one quad jump to his ability and half the field had several.

“It’s a shame,” Yakov said with a sigh, and he meant it in the most genuine way. It really did make him sad to think someone with so much talent had wasted so many years simply because of his self-esteem. “At his age, he may have a few more years, but there are more skaters his age retiring than continuing on. Had he found pride in his abilities when he was eighteen or nineteen, he could have more gold medals than you,” he said, and he saw Victor look at him in surprise.

“Wow,” Victor said. “I’m surprised you would admit that someone that isn’t your student could be the best,” he said and Yakov grunted.

“You’re my student and he’s yours, so it’s still my teaching being passed on. Clearly Celestino never managed to unlock what potential Katsuki has.”

Victor smiled a bright, disgustingly sappy smile that Yakov had never seen before Victor had run off to Japan after Katsuki. “Honestly, I have no idea what I’m doing half the time, I’m a pretty bad coach, it’s just that Yuuri can’t believe in himself sometimes, so I believe in him, and even when he can’t skate for himself, Yuuri can always skate for me.” He frowned suddenly. “Basically, I manipulate him into skating well, which probably isn’t really a good thing, but it works, kinda like the sex thing.”

Yakov grimaced once more. “Again. Entirely unethical coach,” he said, turning to leave Victor to his thoughts. He had to admit, though, that even if he had feared the worst about Victor and Katsuki being terrible distractions to each other, it was actually the opposite. Victor was more grounded now than he ever had been in his entire life before, and he was able to lift Katsuki up when he needed motivation. The part of him that still didn’t want to like a foreign skater training on his ice didn’t like it, but the part of him that loved Victor like a son couldn’t help but be grateful that that strange Japanese man with terrible self-esteem but incredible skill had managed to make Victor return to skating while he still had time.

He just hated that Katsuki struggled so badly when he was such a good skater.

~

Yuuri was so beautiful it was distracting, sometimes. Victor watched him skating lazy spins around the ice to cool down after training so he didn’t get cramps, and his eyes were hooked onto Yuuri’s figure in his tight black warmup gear. His body’s silhouette was almost as stunning as his beautiful face. Victor knew it wasn’t just his love for Yuuri that made him see him so, because he’d seen more than a few others admiring Yuuri with wide eyes in public. Also other skaters had noticed for sure. Victor hadn’t put two and two together for some time, but he remembered two years ago Chris talking about this ‘gorgeous’ Asian guy he was friends with, and even after he met Yuuri, it wasn’t until he saw Chris and Yuuri interacting at the cup of China that he realized he meant Yuuri. 

By then, Victor was already breathtakingly in love with Yuuri, and he had been admittedly a little bit jealous of how Chris got away with grabbing Yuuri’s ass and touching his waist and hips with nothing more than a bashful yet friendly grin from Yuuri as he did so. He understood the allure, Yuuri’s curves were far more feminine than most of the male skaters, but it was still sort of annoyed that Chris got to grope the man Victor cared for but Victor had to refrain from doing so for fear of making Yuuri uncomfortable with him.

Now as he watched him skating around, with nobody else lingering at the ice besides them as late as it was, Victor was free to look his fill and feel no guilt about it. Yuuri spun into a slow Biellmann and Victor shook his head at how beautiful the lines Yuuri could achieve were. He was so flexible in a way many male skaters weren’t. When he released his skate he still spun a few revolutions in a layback position with his back curving like a ballerina and Victor shook his head with a smile at the sight. Yuuri’s dance background was as obvious as it was beautiful in his skating. 

When he slowly skated to a stop at the barrier, Victor handed him his water bottle and Yuuri thanked him as he drank some. “You finished?” he asked, and Yuuri nodded, still breathing a bit heavily as he wiped at his sweaty face.

“Yeah,” he said, looking out over the ice. “I think I need to diet better, though. I got tired faster than usual, so I think I’ve got heavier,” he said, and Victor’s heart sank. Yuuri tugged his shirt further down as if to cover some invisible fat. “I wish I had worn looser clothes, but I didn’t realize I was getting fat again.”

“ _Zolotze_ , you’re as thin as ever,” he informed him gently but with no doubt left about his conviction. He looked Yuuri in the eye when he turned back. “If you start dieting too much, you won’t have enough energy,” he said, knowing that was one surefire way to get Yuuri to not start dieting needlessly. “It would be really bad if you couldn’t do your jumps cause you didn’t have the energy.”

Yuuri frowned. “True,” he said, rubbing at his belly. “Maybe I should just do more exercise.” 

“Yuuri, you do know I’m aware you have absolutely no fat there,” Victor said gently, looking down at Yuuri’s hand. Yuuri ducked his head and Victor tipped his chin up with a fingertip. “We had sex last night, I got quite a good look at your body,” he purred and Yuuri blushed but smiled.

“You’re sweet, Vicchan, but I know I’m not that thin.” He touched Victor’s face. “Thank you for the compliment, though.”

Victor pouted at him. “Are you saying I missed something?” Yuuri blushed and Victor smirked suddenly. “You know,” he purred, leaning over the boards towards him. “I think I should take off all your clothes and examine every inch of you. For science,” he added and Yuuri giggled, though he was pink.

“Well, if it’s for _science_ ,” he said playfully, leaning in to kiss Victor sweetly. 

When they got home later and Yuuri dragged him into the shower, Victor couldn’t help but be distracted by the fact that Yuuri was nothing but solid muscle right now and yet he still got shy when Victor grabbed him by the waist or thighs. He didn’t have to say that he was having issues with his body image for Victor to know it, and it broke his heart. 

Yuuri was as close to perfect as anybody had ever been, and yet lately, on top of all the other things he was dealing with emotionally, he didn’t feel like he was good enough physically either. 

 

~

If someone tried to make him admit it, Yuri would deny with his last breath that he gave a shit about Yuuri’s struggles with doubting himself. However, he had confessed to himself at least that he did, in fact, care about Yuuri more than he really wished he did. Yuuri was his friend, whether he wanted to admit it or not, and he didn’t enjoy seeing him struggle with that crushing self-doubt. Yuri had never really suffered much doubt. He had overcome so many obstacles that he never had a thought to doubt himself. He was so angry at life dealing him the kind of hand it had that he was determined to take control of everything and conquer the world. 

Yuuri wasn’t like that. He doubted himself constantly. He was always second-guessing himself and his worth both as a skater and just as a person. Yuri understood why he had been so alone for so long when he got to really know him, because Yuuri couldn’t disappoint anyone, in his eyes, if he wasn’t close to them. Even when the Piggy was skating his best and in perfect shape, one fall and he would start to fall apart and all of his confidence would slip away. Yuri was pretty glad Victor had fallen for Yuuri, because a normal coach would have never read it right and understood how to encourage Yuuri the way he needed it when he was feeling down about more than just his skating. 

However, Victor couldn’t exactly help when he was the problem, which was why Yuri found Yuuri standing outside Lilia’s front door when Lilia and Yakov were both out for the day and there was a knock. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Yuri asked bluntly.

Yuuri looked miserable, like the proverbial dark clouds were looming over his head and about to pour rain down on him. “I- I didn’t know where else to go,” he said in a small voice, speaking English again, which was never a good sign. His Russian wasn’t great, but he endeavored to speak Russian all the time so it kept improving, and English usually meant he was too mentally exhausted to bother. 

Stepping aside to let him in, Yuri grunted. “And you came here, why?” he asked gruffly. He led the way to his room and Yuuri hovered by the door when Yuri flopped onto his bed. He watched him fidgeting and sighed. “Come the fuck over here, Katsudon,” he said, and Yuuri finally ambled over and sat on the end of the bed gingerly. He didn’t say anything or do much of anything but look at his hands and wring them, so Yuri kicked him, making him help and hold his thigh in pain. “Fucking talk or get over yourself.”

Yuuri turned and kneeled on the bed, looking at him with big, sad eyes. “I wouldn’t normally talk to a child about things like this, but- but I don’t know anybody else well enough and I don’t want to talk about it over the phone with Phichit and Chris is really more of Victor’s friend so maybe I shouldn’t.” He stopped and bit his lip. “Well, I don’t know.” He rubbed his thighs uncomfortably, looking away. “You’re too young for these things,” he muttered to himself and Yuri rolled his eyes.

“I’ve had sex, Piggy, so spit it out.”

Yuuri’s eyes bugged out. “You WHAT?! You’re a _child_!”

Yuri raised an eyebrow. “What do you think Otabek gave me for my sixteenth birthday?” he asked and Yuuri looked at him like he wasn’t sure whether to cry or ask questions. 

(Okay, _technically_ he wasn’t sure it was actually sex, because it wasn’t on purpose, but they were kissing and Otabek’s leg kept pressing against him and it was kind of something that just happened in his pants and he may or may not have shoved Otabek off and hid in his closet hyperventilating out of embarrassment and then hadn’t gotten within touching distance of Otabek again until his trip ended and he left three days later and they hadn’t mentioned it ever again, but shut up, a boy made him have an orgasm so it was basically sex, probably.)

“It wasn’t about sex, oh my God,” Yuuri said, seeming somewhat panicked. “Should I be talking to _you_ about sex now? Is it too late for the condoms talk? Do- do you have any questions about, uh, uh-“

Yuri nearly choked in his attempt to spring up from the pillows and clap a hand over Yuuri’s mouth. “Holy shit you are so not giving me the sex talk, shut the fuck up!” He had already lived through one terrible speech from Lilia after she got home early and found him and Otabek holding hands while watching TV about how she wouldn’t go easy on him if he was getting fucked up the ass just because it made ballet uncomfortable. Yuri could live the rest of his life without anybody ever talking about sex to him ever, ever again. He was half sure he didn’t even want to have sex just to avoid having to fucking talk about it again. “If it’s not about Victor being too old to give you sex anymore, what’s it got to do with him?” he asked. 

Much to his surprise, Yuuri looked down at the bedspread and his lips formed a pained little pout. “Do- do you think he’s cheating on me?” Or- or at least planning on leaving me?” he mumbled. “He seems like he probably is gonna leave me, and maybe he’s met someone else. Maybe he met somebody that’s beautiful and thin and more fun than me.”

Yuri knew he had to look stupid with his mouth hanging open but he genuinely couldn’t comprehend what was being said to him. It was like static in his brain. The Blue Screen of Death was all that his mind could manage as Yuuri trailed off and _rubbed his eye_ like he was about to start crying. “Are you that fucking stupid?” he finally asked and Yuuri looked up at him with a hurt pout. Yuri waved his hands, spluttering as he tried to find the words for how incomprehensible that was. “VICTOR cheating on YOU?! That would be like the fucking moon deciding to break up with Earth’s gravity, you dumb fuck!” 

Yuuri sniffled. “But-“

“But nothing,” Yuri said harshly. “You moron, Victor would shave his fucking head before he even glanced at somebody else. That fucking loser has lost his goddamn mind over you! What the fuck makes you think Victor wants to leave you?”

Yuuri looked at him doubtfully. “He’s avoiding me. And he doesn’t stop looking at his phone. And he hasn’t kissed me in two days.”

Yuri exhaled slowly. “So you think sometime in the past _two days_ Victor had decided to leave you?”

Yuuri muttered, cheeks turning pink. “Well when you say it like that it sounds stupid-“

“Cause you’re stupid as fuck,” Yuri said bluntly. “But, fine, okay.” He got off the bed. “I’ll go kick his ass for you and see what’s up-“

“YOU CAN’T DO THAT!” Yuuri screeched, but Yuri was already putting on his shoes. “YURI NO!”

“Too late! You came here and interrupted my day. It’s happening-“

“YURIO!”

“I’m going to find Victor now, bye!”

~

Yuuri didn’t know what happened with Yurio and Victor, but neither of them were dead or seemed angry at one another, so he could only assume Yurio didn’t actually beat Victor up for him, which was good, since he liked his fiancé how he was. The more he thought about it, it was unlikely Victor stopped loving him in two days. It just still felt like Victor being his fiancé was a dream and he would wake up from it in the worst way. 

He had also seen too many movies in America when he lived there about cruel people dating people on dares and bets and for money or just to be cruel. That kind of thing stuck with a person. 

Victor mostly went back to normal after a few days, but for the following three weeks, Victor was always texting people. He knew it couldn’t be the same person because he would get multiple replies at once, so he didn’t know what Victor was doing, but when he asked him about it, he pretended Yuuri needed to do something else and refused to answer. Yuuri let him get away with it because he wanted to prove he trusted Victor, but it was hard to trust him when he was suspicious as hell all the time.

It was hard to be too suspicious, though, when Victor still smiled at him like he was the most incredible thing Victor had ever seen. It made Yuuri somewhat uncomfortable to think that Victor saw something that wasn’t there, some quality that Yuuri just didn’t possess no matter what Victor thought, but he could understand it because he, too, was constantly ignoring Victor’s faults because he was too blinded by his love for Victor. 

Yuuri was well aware that Victor was not, in fact, perfect. It just felt that way sometimes when after all these months, a smile from Victor still gave him butterflies. He didn’t think he deserved it, but he knew that if Victor felt the same way for him, it was understandable that Victor would ignore his faults. He had a lot more than Victor did, but he loved Victor just as much as Victor loved him, so he knew the ‘blinded by love’ thing didn’t really have a set amount. 

For all he had said to Yurio, Yuuri didn’t _really_ think Victor wanted to leave him. Only in his most doubtful moments did he think that might be possible. It was just one of those things that was kind of like the monster under the bed as a child. One _knew_ it wasn’t there, but that lingering ‘but what if’ couldn’t be fully shut out. 

“What’s on your mind, my love?” Victor murmured and Yuuri startled some, having not realized that Victor was still awake, and he looked over at the lumpy shadow in the darkness that was Victor. Yuuri heard the rustling and then saw the shadow of Victor’s hand as he reached out and touched his face. “Leave my Yuuri alone, dumb thoughts,” he said sleepily as he rubbed at Yuuri’s temple, and Yuuri couldn’t help but giggle softly. “Let him sleep.”

Yuuri shuffled closer to Victor and was greeted by an arm around his waist tugging him until his head lay on Victor’s chest. He exhaled and curled around Victor, listing to the soft ‘thu-thump’ of Victor’s heart beneath his ear. After a short pause Yuuri rubbed absently at Victor’s exposed hip in the gap between his pajamas and his shirt. “I’m not saying I don’t think you do,” Yuuri whispered. “But if you ever stop loving me, promise me you’ll tell me instead of pretending you still do.” Victor’s breath caught and Yuuri closed his eyes. “You’re my best friend and I could forgive you for falling out of love, but- but I could never forgive you for leading me on or cheating on me. We could still be friends if we drifted apart, but I couldn’t have you in my life in any form if you broke my heart.”

“Yuuri,” Victor breathed, and Yuuri found himself crushed in a tight hug as Victor clung to him. “That isn’t going to happen. You’re the other half of my soul, and I will always love you-“

“You can’t know that,” Yuuri said gently. “Like I said, I don’t doubt your love, Victor. But you can’t know what will happen in the future. I would rather know I can have you in my life forever in some way than have you break my trust by lying to me about something like that.”

Victor raised a hand to rub through his hair and he felt Victor’s lips on his temple. “I promise. I will never lie to you about my feelings,” he swore. “And I can be sure that I will always love you, Yuuri.” Yuuri started to argue but Victor shushed him. “No. Even if I were to fall out of love with you, I would love you in some capacity still. Even if it changed to the way I love Yura, or Yakov, I would still love you.” He rubbed a hand down Yuuri’s back and Yuuri relaxed, because he believed him now. “I hate that you feel that you can’t trust me. I’m not accusing you of anything,” he said before Yuuri’s stomach could even clench. “I know you don’t do it on purpose. You can’t help your doubts. I just hate that you have to feel these things. I remember what it felt like when you told me you wanted us to go our separate ways after the Grand Prix Final. It was dreadful. To think your brain won’t let you turn that off and will just attack you with that feeling sometimes is something I really hate.”

Yuuri smiled. “You and me both,” he said softly, tipping his head back to look at Victor’s face. Victor looked down at him and Yuuri bumped their heads together. “I’m sorry for being so needy.”

Victor just shook his head. “I’m sorry I can’t do magic and just fix anything that troubles you.”

It was only a temporary comfort, Yuuri knew from experience, but the comfort he felt from being reassured by his fiancé was enough to make him able to go to sleep finally. 

~

Victor had been being odd lately, and though he still forced himself to trust that Victor was not going to leave him, Yuuri was still very wary when Victor chivied him out the door one night after only being home from the rink for an hour and a half. He was confused and had really no idea what Victor intended, but he went with him anyways. 

They walked to the rink, which made Yuuri even more confused. “Victor, you’re being weird,” he said, and Victor just swung their hands held between them. 

“All will be revealed,” was all he would say.

When they walked through to the rink, all the lights were out and it was pitch black apart from the red exit signs at the far end of the rink. It was quiet, but Yuuri could sense that something was off about the atmosphere. “Victor?” he asked softly, but Victor tugged him along, using his phone to light the floor so Yuuri didn’t trip on their way towards the ice. “Victor, what’s going on?” he asked, feeling more and more unnerved. “You’re scaring me,” he mumbled so quietly he could barely hear himself.

Victor stopped and turned to him, though all he could see was the glint of Victor’s eyes from the dim phone light. “Oh, My Yuuri, don’t be scared,” he said softly, sounding guilty as squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.” Yuuri felt lips against his forehead and felt a little reassured. “Just a little further,” he urged and Yuuri nodded, stepping into sync with him as they got all the way down to the edge of the ice. Victor did something on his phone, and all of a sudden the lights above the ice came on and, while Yuuri was blinking against the brightness, a loud cry came from the ice.

“SURPRISE!” called out many voices, and Yuuri blinked away the spots from the light only to gasp and put both hands over his mouth when he saw all his friends and family standing out on the ice holding a banner that read, “MARRY ME?”

Yuuri turned to Victor, lowering his hands. “I don’t understand,” he said, looking up at Victor’s amused smile. “We’re already engaged,” he said, and Victor grinned.

“Actually,” he purred, stepping closer. “You didn’t ask me to marry you, you just gave me an engagement ring as a good luck charm and I told everybody we would get married when you won gold.”

Yuuri blushed. “I haven’t won a gold medal since then,” he said, lowering his head, only to have a fingertip tip his chin back up and a pair of lips press against his. “Vitya?”

Victor smiled lovingly. “I don’t care if you never win a medal. I’m confident you will win all of the competitions you enter ever again, but I was never serious about that. I just thought it would encourage you. But you deserve a real proposal if anybody does.” Victor stroked a thumb across Yuuri’s slightly parted lips and leaned closer momentarily before dropping to one knee in front of Yuuri, whose heart began to pound when he realized what Victor was doing, _for real_. “I want to spend every day of my life with you. You are my best friend, and when you entered my life my world got brighter in every way.” Victor gave a watery smile and Yuuri couldn’t hold in a bright smile. “Katsuki Yuuri, will you marry me?”

Yuuri let out an audible sob and nodded. “Of course I will, _Baka_!” he blubbered and Victor leapt to his feet and hugged Yuuri close as he sobbed. “You had to scare the shit out of me for weeks by being suspicious and it be something super sweet,” he accused, lightly thumping Victor on the chest.

Victor smiled down at him, tugging the hand on his chest up to kiss it, lips warming the cold metal of Yuuri’s ring. “I’m sorry, but I wanted to surprise you.” He kissed his finger again. “Did it work?”

“Yes, it worked,” Yuuri giggled wetly, pressing their foreheads together. “I love you so much.”

Victor closed his eyes and took a breath. “That’s all I ever want.” The craziest part, Yuuri realized, was that he absolutely believed Victor. 

“OI! DID THAT PIG BASTARD SAY YES YET? CAN WE PUT DOWN THIS DAMN BANNER?” Yuuri laughed as he heard Yurio shout from the ice, only to have it followed by an indignant yelp of pain. He turned his head and saw _his mom_ glaring at Yurio, who was rubbing the back of his head and eying her sheepishly. 

“Of course I said yes!” Yuuri called and a cheer went up in the group out on the ice. Phichit dropped his corner of the banner and skated towards the gate, practically launching himself off the ice and onto Yuuri with a cry.

“YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!” he shouted as they tumbled to the floor, Yuuri laughing delightedly even as Phichit landed on top of him. 

“I’m getting married!” he agreed, hugging Phichit as they rolled around together, laughing and poking each other.

Yuuri was so happy and Phichit was almost as happy as he was. He sat up on his knees, straddling Yuuri. “I get to be your best man, right?” he asked and Yuuri nodded.

“Of course you get to be my best man, Phichit-kun!”

Victor cleared his throat, looking down at the two of them in amusement. “I’m fairly certain you’re in my spot, Phichit,” he said with a leer and Yuuri flushed when he realized what position he and Phichit were in. 

Phichit just wiggled his eyebrows. “Hey, you aren’t married yet,” he said, but got up, careful not to step on Yuuri’s hands with his skates. He helped Yuuri up and hugged him again. “Come on, Victor has your skates,” he said, and then stepped back out onto the ice.

Yuuri looked at Victor, who nodded to their skate bags behind him on the ground outside the barrier. “Skating engagement party,” he said simply, and suddenly music started up and the ones on the ice all cheered and started skating around.

“Victor,” Yuuri sighed, stepping close to tug him into one more kiss. “You’re so incredible and I apologize for all the mean things I’ll say when we start practicing for competition again tomorrow,” he said and Victor winked.

“As long as you give me a kiss for every bitchy thing you say when you’re frustrated, it’s all good,” he comforted and Yuuri leaned in to kiss him again. “Now come on,” he said, nodding to their skates. “Let’s get out there before your mother and father get injured before you can hug them.”

Yuuri glanced out at where his parents were laughing and hanging onto each other to keep from falling since neither of them could so much as do a circuit of the ice without wind milling arms, and he was struck with a thought as he looked back at his fiancé and smiled. “I can’t wait until we have been married as long as my parents have been,” he said and Victor’s breath audibly caught in his throat before he kissed Yuuri again, pinning him against the gate with the force of his kiss.

As he sank into the passionate kiss, letting out a breathy moan, it was only Yuuko’s girls yelling, “This will go viral!” and “Get a second angle!” that he broke the kiss and ducked away from Victor to go grab his skates. Victor seemed to have heard the girls as well, because he went to join Yuuri in sitting to put on his skates.

“I would bet good money that Chris gave them a camera phone,” he said, and Yuuri snorted, because it was probably just true.

“Our friends are insane, but I love them anyways,” Yuuri said and Victor grinned and leaned in to press a kiss to his hair.

“Come on, _Zolotse_. Let’s get out there and greet our guests.”

Yuuri knew that he wouldn’t magically stop doubting his worth because he was happy now. He knew that he would doubt Victor’s devotion again just because he didn’t feel worthy, no matter how positive he was that he _was_ worthy. He would feel bad about himself, he would feel like a terrible skater and someone unworthy of being loved. He would have days that made everything seem utterly pointless.

But as he looked to his left, he knew that no matter what, Victor would be there beside him on all of those bad days and the good ones in between, heart, mind, body, and soul. And even better, Victor would be _his husband_ in all of it.


End file.
